Buggy
by The Sacred and Profane
Summary: Reno and Yuffie learn why one should never inconsiderately kill insects. Reffie oneshot for Speedy Speck.


Buggy

AN: I own nothing in this story. This is for Speedy Speck so enjoy! Please R&R.

Yuffie and Reno were walking through the park, enjoying nature. Well Yuffie was actually on the look out for some Materia while Reno was trying to stop her.

The young couple had just passed by another copse of trees when a gleam up ahead caught Yuffie's eye. Dragging Reno behind her, she gave a cry of joy at the sight of the dull glow of Materia nestled between the rotting bark of an old tree.

"Babe, maybe we shouldn't- but Yuffie cut him off with a raised hand.

"Quiet you, this looks like a one of a kind find!" The Avalanche member then grabbed the Materia and pulled with all her might but it wouldn't budge. A fly crawled across her palm then and Yuffie gave an annoyed grunt. "Stupid fly!" Using her other hand, she squashed the bug against the back of her hand, quickly wiping the remains on the bark of the tree. Before the thief could try again for her prize though, the Materia started to shake.

Light surged forth from the Materia and covered the ninja along with the Turk.

* * *

"Reno, wake up!" Yuffie's voice sounded panicked and as the red head opened his eyes he saw why.

From the neck down Yuffie Kisaragi was now a fly. Her forelegs were constantly rubbing together and the hairs on her back were twitching this way and that.

"Yuffie, am I dreaming?" Yuffie whacked him over the head then with a black foreleg and when Reno raised an arm to rub his head, he saw an insect arm. More specifically an appendage belonging to a grasshopper or cricket.

A loud noise emanating from behind him made Reno jump but soon realized he was the one causing it.

"What did you do Reno?" Yuffie asked, eyes narrowing.

"Me?! Babe, you're the one who killed that fly out of spite. I think this is a fitting punishment for you."

Yuffie gave a snort at that and moved closer.

"Anyway, we've got to find that Materia and get back to normal."

"And how are we going to do that when we're the size of bugs princess?" Yuffie buzzed angrily at that and flew into the air.

"If you're going to be a jerk about it then I'll just leave you here," she shot back and a moment later she was flying away.

Getting on all of his legs, Reno wasn't sure just how many he had, he gave a mighty leap and soared past her in an arc. Turning around, he flashed her a cheeky grin.

"You've got to admit it is pretty cool to be able to travel like this, right?" But Yuffie's face was now as green as the giant grass stalks close by and she started vomiting right there.

Apparently she still suffered from motion sickness.

Once the ninja was finished, she alighted to the ground near Reno.

"This is not cool. How am I supposed to nab any more Materia like- but she suddenly stopped and started sniffing the air. "Do you smell that?"

"Smell what?" But Yuffie flew off again, sniffing as she vanished into the distance. Hopping after her for a few moments, Reno finally saw just what had enraptured his girlfriend so much.

A large pile of garbage was towering ahead, flies hovering around it. Yuffie landed on one corner of this pile and quickly bore a hole, munching on the junk inside. Chewing loudly, she swallowed it and went for more.

When Reno finally managed to pull her away she had taken ten giant mouthfuls of the stuff, her cheeks stuffed as he took her away from the garbage. Swallowing her final mouthful, she burped loudly and looked at him.

"That was heavenly..." she murmured.

"You're not kissing me when we get back to normal," Reno replied. And they continued on their journey.

* * *

About an hour later, after Yuffie came to her senses and complained about the taste of garbage, the two were resting when they felt the ground shake a little. A moment later, it shook again.

"What is that?" Yuffie asked, curiosity tinging her tone. She got her answer when a monstrous webbed foot crashed in front of them. The toad it belonged to stared down at them with dark eyes and it seemed to smirk.

Twin shrieks escaped the transformed couple's mouths as they hopped and flew away. The toad gave a leap and was after them in a second.

Yuffie and Reno were chased for a good ten minutes dodging logs, grass, and the toad's tongue as it shot after them. Luckily a parade of mosquitoes buzzed buy and the toad hopped after them. Panting with exertion, the two sunk to the ground.

"Remind me to kill every toad I see when we're back to normal," Yuffie said.

"Killing is what got us in this mess so I don't think I will," Reno answered. Before Yuffie could reply a very curvy shadow blocked out the sun.

"You two look like perfect additions to my collection," a voice boomed from that shadow. Reno went wide eyed as he recognized that voice even as he dodged the swipe of the net aimed at him.

* * *

"It's Laney!" And indeed it was but whereas normally Elena would be dressed as professionally as possible, it seemed in recreation she chose a more esoteric style of uniform. Khaki shorts and a khaki shirt covered her lower and upper halves while a backpack bulging with nets, charts, and bottles was strapped to her back. A long handled net was held in both hands and on top of her pretty blond head was a wide brimmed safari hat. "If only I had a camera..." Reno moaned.

"Turkey, she's trying to catch us! Whine later, run now!" And they ran, Elena hot on their heels, so to speak. But whereas the toad had difficulty keeping up with them, Elena's longer stride and determination had no problem following her two targets.

She had cornered them a few moments later, net poised to strike, when a stink beetle crawled in front of her feet.

"Oh...my...gosh...it's a Junonian stink beetle here in Edge Park!" Elena gave a squeal of joy and chased after this newest find.

Reno rested his tired grasshopper form against some nearby bark and looked over at Yuffie.

"You alright babe?" Yuffie nodded but her eyes gleamed in recognition as she noticed the tree he was resting against.

"Re, this is it!" She flew up in the air and sure enough the Materia was where it had been before. Reno hopped up to Yuffie's level and perched on the Materia.

"How do we get this thing to- but Yuffie touched the Materia then and light covered both of them.

* * *

When Reno opened his eyes again he found Yuffie laying beside him, a grin on her face. Hugging him tightly, she nuzzled his neck.

"We're back!" She moved her lips close to his and was about to kiss him when Reno placed a finger on them.

"No kissing...at least not until you use some mouthwash." Yuffie nodded and realized that the taste of the garbage still lingered at the back of her throat.

"Ugh...you're right. Take my word for it, garbage is nasty." Reno nodded and got to his feet, helping Yuffie to do the same. She started walking off then and Reno's eyes widened.

"You're not taking that Materia?"

"I think I'll let this one go. Besides, Tifa's supposed to have found some new Materia. So you up for a drink?" Reno nodded and wrapped an arm around her side. As they were walking out of the copse, Elena suddenly burst from a nearby bush and looked around.

"Have you guys seen a Junoian stink beetle around here?" Reno smirked and Yuffie shook her head. Elena's face went pink when she realized just who she had run into. "Re-Reno this isn't what it looks like. I'm just...role playing...yeah that's it."

"Whatever you say Laney. Have fun completing your bug collection." And with a wave, he and Yuffie left the blond.

Returning to her search, Elena spied the bug climbing up an old tree. She sent her net out but her aim was off, causing the stink beetle to end up squashed. Elena's lip quivered and she was about to start crying for the wasted effort when a light bathed her in it's glow.

It reminded her of Materia.

When it had dissipated, Elena realized several things.

Her clothes were in a pile in front of her, they were giant sized, and the nearby bushes looked as tall as the Shinra building.

"What happened- but Elena saw her reflection in her metal belt buckle then and shrieked.

Elena, Turk and bug collecting enthusiast, was now a Junonian stink beetle from the neck down.

"How am I going to explain this at work?" Elena muttered aloud before she felt her butt, if the thing she now had as a rear could be called a butt, discharge some stink.


End file.
